Oh, this Wife Business!

As a wife, I've been doing a lot of soul searching about who I should be to my husband. So to help myself think, I figured I'd start at the beginning. No, not Eve, I'm holding a grudge against her for quite a few reasons. We'll skip ahead a few years to King Solomon, the wisest king in history. He kept a Proverb from King Lemuel who had a few ideas about what the "ideal" wife should be like. I've been reading this chapter at random times since I was probably 15 yrs old and highlighted some of my favorite parts in it...

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
Proverbs 31:10-31

^{10 [}a]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants. ¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks. ¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.

 

²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. 

So, we don't exactly have the chance to buy some land, plant vineyards and gather grain and care for our maid-servants anymore. But as wives it is our responsibility to make sure our families are fed and healthy, our property is taken care of and our days are spent doing useful things rather than "idle" things. (Like writing in a blog instead of doing dishes?) Ouch.
After reading through these verses like I have done many times before, my mind skimmed through my day...
I get up around 5:45am, get my make-up on, hair done as I slowly come out of my sleep-coma, grab some coffee and head up-stairs to my chair and favorite window for some quiet time with God.  It's never as long as I'd like it to be, maybe 15 minutes. Then I just have to check my facebook page to see if anything "important" is going on...then I head down stairs to wake Matt up, throw some breakfast together, throw my scrubs on, walk the dogs, kiss the Hubby, get him out the door and get myself headed work by 8:15am. I spend about 8 hrs at work. As much as I love and enjoy my job, by the end of the day my back hurts, my feet are killing me, I'm hungry, I'm tired, and I can't think about anything except what I need to make for dinner after my 25 minute drive home and after I walk the dogs and straighten up the apartment a little bit. I know, "whoa is me" right? Not really, some days I'm super lazy and I get take-out or have Matt do it, or I leave the mess for the next day. I know I shouldn't though... and that bugs.
So now we come to the 1950's idea of a "good" wife. She sounds wonderful and I'd love to meet her one day... oh she looks so happy and clean!

        ...from 'Good Housekeeping Magazine', 13th May 1955

THE GOOD WIFE'S GUIDE

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious dinner ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. he has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
• Be a little gay (happy) and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
• Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
• Be happy to see him.
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him but the moment of is arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late, or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure.
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. have a warm or cool drink ready for him.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. remember he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.

 

Um....Ouuuch? Yes. Big ouch. All these rules and all I can think is, "take off his shoes? Gross!" and "what about MY day?!"

As I was looking at this article on a few web sites I saw tons of responses to it...and they were from very angry women! How dare we spend our lives helping our husbands and being happy about it! (you might be thinkin' the same thing, right?). Well, it's a tough pill to swallow, but yes. I Believe that is one of our many purposes. Why? -you ask. Because in the beginning:

Genesis 2:18 
 ¹⁸ The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

So, here I am, being the best helping-working-wife I can be, makin' dinner for my hubby...

Like I said, making a nice fancy dinner is not an every night type of thing, I usually get home and just want to throw together some quick pasta and crash on the couch...
But Matt appreciates it when I try, and he lets me know by thanking me all the time, along with hugs and kisses. He also gets in there and helps me, which I appreciate! (Men, if you're reading this, do as Matt does, he's perfect. *wink wink*)

Sometimes it's not easy knowing I'm in charge of making sure we have the correct groceries and meals and a clean place to relax, but this is my purpose according to God's will... and I will try to do it to the best of my ability.
                                                  
       Plus, I love my husband and I want him to be happy!